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Announcements

Trump Cuts Subsidies, Healthcare Rates Rise

10/14/2017

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In response to the Trump administration dropping healthcare subsidies, Hooba Canoes Industries is announcing that we will astronomically raise your health plan rates beyond what you can afford. 

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Trump Pardons The Night King

8/26/2017

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Known for his ruthless treatment of wild-lings beyond the wall, the Night King has received a full presidential pardon according to the White House.
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Social Media Director Dies In Tragic Jetski Accident

6/22/2015

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We regret to inform you that our director of social media fell in a lake while jet-skiing and fried his CPU. 

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An important message to all drones from the Hooba Health blood bank

5/18/2015

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Please support Hooba Canoes Industries efforts to increase blood supply to our Father by participating in a MANDATORY blood drive on Friday, June 5th.
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Employee of the Month: Corby Canoes Wins Again!

10/1/2014

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Corby Canoes
For a record 30th month in a row, Corby Canoes has won employee of the month! 

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30 Year Anniversary of His Resurrection

9/12/2014

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Last year our father, Hooba Canoes, celebrated his 30 year resurrection. I sat down with Hooba and briefly discussed his glorious return to the land of the living, the state of our industry, and what he envisions for the future.

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Hooba Canoes Now Hiring!

8/28/2014

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Are you out of work? A loser stuck in a dead end job? Or just looking to make a change in a new and exciting direction? If you answered yes, then we may have a place for you at Hooba Canoes Industries.

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Three Reasons To Panic!

8/27/2014

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Al Capone: The Truth Revealed

8/25/2014

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Dear Subjects,

Many Hooba Canoes followers are expressing concerns and throwing rocks about our recent hiring decisions. We want to assure everyone that we know what we're doing. 

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Tragedy, Brutality, and Al Capone IV

8/15/2014

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Dearest work friends and other workers, I regret to inform you of another great sadness that has fallen on the Hooba Canoes family. 


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Out with the old, in with the new

8/14/2014

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Dear fellow Hooba Canoes employee,

It brings me great sadness to inform all of you that Chief Marketing Director, Ned Bouquetz, has passed away due to loss of life complications.

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Rowdy Roddy Piper Resigns

8/13/2014

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Dear Colleagues,

I want to share with you that Rowdy Roddy Piper will be stepping down from his current responsibilities, effective immediately.   

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Dear Employees and Staff

8/11/2014

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This week is an exciting week in Hooba Canoes history,  Yesterday, we announced that our Board of Directors elected Rowdy Roddy Piper, chairman and chief executive officer of WWF International Hall of Fame (unofficially), as an independent director.

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Organizational Announcement

8/11/2014

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Acquisition Expands Hooba Canoes Franchising Group and Strengthens Helium Services Capabilities.

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