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Three Reasons To Panic!

8/27/2014

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#1  Global Warming Is No Longer A Hoax
  • A recent study suggests 99.9% of climate scientists not just making shit up.
  • Our intern wasted at least one hour googling “climate change” and found photos of REAL polar bears!
  • My ice cream is melting!

#2  Riding on the coattails of recent highly publicized police murders, English rock band “The Police” reunite!

#3  Current Hooba Canoes marketing director Al Capone and former Hooba Canoes executive Rowdy Roddy Piper have teamed up to form an undefeatable Tex-Mex tag team force known as Los Rowdy ChingaPones. Also, we’ve been publicly taunting Los Rowdy ChingaPones and challenging them to death matches in YOUR living room. Oh no!


Stayed tuned for more sensationalism and exclamations!
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