Dear Subjects,
Many Hooba Canoes followers are expressing concerns and throwing rocks about our recent hiring decisions. We want to assure everyone that we know what we're doing.
Many Hooba Canoes followers are expressing concerns and throwing rocks about our recent hiring decisions. We want to assure everyone that we know what we're doing.
It may help to provide transparency by revealing a little bit about how we do things here at Hooba Canoes Industries. So let's try that and see if it makes any difference.
Every candidate undergoes a stringent vetting process which includes a google background search, Twitter screening, Instagram photo review, and Facebook stalking. If a candidate passes the initial screening process then he/she will face a gauntlet of rigorous tests including: typing, breathing, not breathing, spelling, math, riddles, and waterboarding. Once testing is survived, a candidate is judged on physical appearance and hired solely on that. This may sound biased, but it's actually not. So now that you know a little more about how we run things, I'm confident that you'll trust all of our decisions moving forward. If we hire someone, it's because we know for certain that they're perfect for the job.
Furthermore, it turns out that we accidentally hired Al Capone. After last week's arguably tragic shooting of Francine Ponce (a mistress of Al Capone), we performed a google search on Mr. Capone. We learned that Mr. Capone has a long criminal record dating back almost 100 years. Obviously, with these new details coming to light we had no choice but to let Al Capone go. He is currently still working for us remotely from Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary. He tells us he's doing a good job.
With Love and Infection,
Hooba Canoes
Every candidate undergoes a stringent vetting process which includes a google background search, Twitter screening, Instagram photo review, and Facebook stalking. If a candidate passes the initial screening process then he/she will face a gauntlet of rigorous tests including: typing, breathing, not breathing, spelling, math, riddles, and waterboarding. Once testing is survived, a candidate is judged on physical appearance and hired solely on that. This may sound biased, but it's actually not. So now that you know a little more about how we run things, I'm confident that you'll trust all of our decisions moving forward. If we hire someone, it's because we know for certain that they're perfect for the job.
Furthermore, it turns out that we accidentally hired Al Capone. After last week's arguably tragic shooting of Francine Ponce (a mistress of Al Capone), we performed a google search on Mr. Capone. We learned that Mr. Capone has a long criminal record dating back almost 100 years. Obviously, with these new details coming to light we had no choice but to let Al Capone go. He is currently still working for us remotely from Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary. He tells us he's doing a good job.
With Love and Infection,
Hooba Canoes
