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Rowdy Roddy Piper Resigns

8/13/2014

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Dear Colleagues,

I want to share with you that Rowdy Roddy Piper will be stepping down from his current responsibilities, effective immediately.   
Picture
Dear Colleagues,

I want to share with you that Rowdy Roddy Piper will be stepping down from his current responsibilities, effective immediately.   

In his short time with the company, Mr. Piper had been responsible for the destruction of as many as 5 tables, 14 chairs, 3 cubicles, 12 trash cans, as well as crippling several security guards and seriously injuring our Chief Marketing Officer (get well soon, Ned). Never the shy one, Rowdy would make a grand entrance running into the room and jumping on the table or tackling senior members. Other times he did not make it into the board room at all as he was giving aggressive on-camera interviews whilst threatening the families of competing companies. He was truly rowdy.

This morning Rowdy ran into our headquarters dragging what appeared to be a smashed printer. He threw it through a window and ran out of the building never to return. Somewhere in that printer we found a letter of resignation written in caps and poorly punctuated.

Rowdy came highly recommended by my grandson and he will be difficult to replace. We will also be replacing the entire HR staff as I am handing over those duties to my grandson.

Moving forward, we wish Rowdy the best.

Regards,

Hooba

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