WASHINGTON - Mounting media attention for Russia’s Status-6 torpedo, a so called “doomsday weapon”, has prompted Trump to announce plans to build a “death star”. The move is seen by many in Washington as “stupid”.
"Set your course for Alderaan"
Trump explained in press conference Friday morning, “A friend of mine called me up and said ‘Is it true that you’re building the death star? Every president since Reagan has been wanting to get that approved.’”
“A death star can create 1.7 million more jobs for the American people. This will create tremendous growth for our economy.”
The cost of building a death star is estimated at $850 quadrillion dollars and would require 13,000 times the mineable resources available on earth. It would take 833,000 years to build.
Trump has stated “We’ll get Mexico to pay for it.”
Although it is physically impossible given the cost and timeline, Trump has appointed current Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker to command the battle station.
“The Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that Trump has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Democracy have been swept away forever,” said Governor Walker while playing with his action figures in the tub.
“I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan,” said Governor Walker, unwittingly referring to a fictional planet from a movie.
“No star system will dare oppose the Trump now.”
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