WASHINGTON - President Donald Trump unceremoniously laid out national flags from various non-white countries on the floor of the oval office and proceeded to “take a dump” on each one.
“I didn’t do what they said. FAKE NEWS! At best I peed a little bit.”
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was quick to defend the president’s actions.
“The media, as usual, is blowing this way out of proportion and taking this out of context. They are completely misrepresenting the president’s statement.”
Fox News also came to the president’s defense when reporting “We should be thankful that our president has the courage to confront these issues. He perfectly articulated what we’ve all wanted to do. He's not some polished phony politician. He's a man of the people. This is why we voted for him.”
Senator Dick Durbin, a Democrat from Illinois, was in the room when Donald Trump soiled on the national flags of other countries. “That wasn’t the only thing Trump took a dump on. Let's just say a lot of the interns quit,” Durbin told reporters today (Jan. 12).
Despite a room full of witnesses and confirmation from the White House, Trump took to Twitter to deny the allegations. “I didn’t do what they said. FAKE NEWS! At best I peed a little bit.”
Several Republican Senators who initially confirmed the events later went on to say they couldn’t remember what happened.
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