FLORIDA - Congressional candidate Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera drew ridicule this week when she said that she was taken aboard senator Ted Cruz’s spaceship when she was a child.
While walking her dog, Bettina claimed to see a bright light in the night sky. She stopped to look closer but then her dog ran off. When she caught up to her dog, a bright beam of light enveloped them. There was a loud buzzing and she couldn’t move her body. The beam of light pulled them towards a spaceship.
“When we arrived on board, a disgusting creature emerged from the shadows. It crawled on all fours on the ceiling, made hissing sounds, and introduced itself as senator Ted Cruz. My dog ran up to it to protect me, but the creature opened its mouth and swallowed poor little fluffy whole. As I froze in fear, it explained why we need to slash corporate tax rates and repeal ObamaCare. It all began to make sense. The creature asked if it could count on my vote before it crawled away.”
"All these years later, the creature and I keep in touch telepathically. And when I’m in DC, we catch up over coffee."