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AR-15 Appointed As Secretary of Health and Human Services

2/17/2018

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WASHINGTON - President Trump is shaking up his cabinet yet again with the appointment of AR-15 as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services. ​

​"
I aim to protect all remaining American lives by making it easier to buy guns," said AR-15.
​The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is the U.S. government’s principal agency for protecting the health of all Americans and providing essential human services, especially for those who are least able to help themselves.

"Guns don't kill people," said AR-15 at a recent press conference. "Sure, killing is exactly what guns are designed for, but it's only dangerous if you use it for it's intended purpose which is killing people."

In response to the recent Florida shootings, AR-15 spoke on the issue of mental health.


Continued below
"A lot of people in this country are suffering from serious mental health issues. I look forward to working with the gun lobby to find a solution to increase gun sales. Only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun some time after a mass shooting has already happened."

AR-15 is already extremely popular among republicans and many political analysts believe AR-15 has a chance at the presidency in the next election.

"I'm not gunning for the presidency just yet. I've got my sights set on my current job and I'll give this job my best shot," said AR-15 as he made one more gun pun.
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