"When I first sat down I noticed it was still warm. My initial feeling was mild disgust, but that feeling soon turned into wonder."
"It was comfort like I'd never felt before," said local coffee enthusiast Neil Mayweather.
"I didn't feel the cold touch of solitude that I'd felt on countless visits to the bathroom. I wasn't alone anymore. I felt a benevolent presence like the butt of god, if there is such a thing, gently cradling me."
Neil looked deeply into the night sky as he digested his caramel macchiato.
"All great men, all civilizations were built on the butts of giants. We are but mere mortals. A single splash in the multiverse."
He said in a Steven Hawking voice, "The transference of heat connects us. Two butts occupying the same place. This moment transcending space and time. Time is merely a construct."
At this point, Neil excused himself to go the bathroom.
"I didn't feel the cold touch of solitude that I'd felt on countless visits to the bathroom. I wasn't alone anymore. I felt a benevolent presence like the butt of god, if there is such a thing, gently cradling me."
Neil looked deeply into the night sky as he digested his caramel macchiato.
"All great men, all civilizations were built on the butts of giants. We are but mere mortals. A single splash in the multiverse."
He said in a Steven Hawking voice, "The transference of heat connects us. Two butts occupying the same place. This moment transcending space and time. Time is merely a construct."
At this point, Neil excused himself to go the bathroom.
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