We’re designing a baby that not even a mother can love.

Scientists at Hooba Canoes Industries are embarking on the next stage in human evolution.   We're creating the babies of the future by eliminating their weaknesses and enhancing their strengths.

Why are we doing this?

• From a financial perspective, it just makes  sense.  

What are the pros and cons of  super babies?

• Population control. We guarantee our babies are sterile. No more babies having babies.
  
• Currently, survival of the host is not guaranteed.
  
• Fully programmable at birth. Our babies are predisposed to love you unconditionally. *May be subject to violent outbursts and dismemberment.

Here are the facts:

• A regular baby requires years of development to learn how to walk, talk, and use the potty.  Our babies poop in the woods.  A Hooba Canoes baby is like a cactus. You don’t have to feed it or care for it and it has spikes.
• There's no more need to coerce your baby into eating baby food. Your baby will be insatiably hungry and feed itself by any means necessary. While they will prefer mother’s milk or our proprietary synthetic milk blend with added vitamins and drugs, our babies are capable of eating any organic material and some fossil fuels.
• The cuter a baby is the more likely it is to be abducted (which may or may not be a good thing). Our babies are hideous and often deformed. We’re designing a baby that not even a mother can love.
• Babies are physically weak, cannot fend for themselves, and require nurturing and love.  Our babies  strength will rival adult silverback gorillas.

We’re looking for body donors of all kinds including  athletes,  mercenaries and  at-risk teens.

To apply to be a body donor, please email us using the contact page.