Career Levels

• Drone (Levels 1,2,3)
• Torture Master
• Drone Master
• Master Master
• Thought Leader

<

>

Level 1 Drone

Level 1 employees are the least valued employees, but that doesn't mean they aren't required to love their job! Level 1's are often referred to as "drones" or "units". This is considered an entry level position. Some jobs include:

• Desk Drone
• Scientist drone
• Cleaning drone
• Security drone
• Waste attendant drone
• Labor drone
• Carrier drone
• Repetitive motion drone
• Human shield drone

All drones are housed in a "sector" or "block". Each sector contains between 100 to 300 drones. To apply for a drone position, visit our career portal or complete a job application.

Level 2 Drone

Level 2's are one level higher than level 1's. To become a level 2 you must undergo high risk brain transplant surgery and occupy a machine body. As a reward, level 2's are provided with a window in their sleeping cell, unlimited motor oil, and prolonged radiation exposure. 

Other bonuses include limited oxygen requirements, very little organic fuel, and longer work days.

A level 2 may perform more dangerous work such as nuclear waste disposal, heavy lifting, and super-soldier fighting.

Level 3 Drone

Level 3's are the most dedicated of all Hooba Canoes workers.

To become a level 3 one must first declare war against an "oppressive" government or competing company, sell all earthly possessions and transfer the funds to the Swiss Hooba Canoes Bank, perform jihad by exploding oneself at the headquarters of a rival company and/or kidnap and execute the executives families. 

Level 3 status offers the privilege of an unlimited Hooba Canoes data plan on the best network, unlimited texts and minutes, and unlimited brain cleansing.

A Torture Master is a specialized employee who exclusively performs abuse activities as requested by a Drone Master. There are typically 3 Torture Masters per sector. A criminal record is usually required, but exceptions can be made based on experience and other qualifications.

A Drone Master is responsible for controlling an entire sector of drones (up to 300) and supervising as many as 3 Torture Masters. This position usually requires a degree from Hooba Canoes University. If you're interested in pursuing a career as a Drone Master, we encourage you to explore our Drone Master training program.

A Master Master oversees a "zone" with as many as 20 Drone Masters and 60 Torture Masters. A Master Master usually starts out as Drone Master who graduates from Hooba Canoes University with a Masters degree.

Thought leaders control the thoughts and minds of all drones. They work with data scientists and social engineers to select thoughts and install those thoughts into drone minds via brain interface upload, loud speakers, torture sessions, and other tools.